I am not my body

I am a fan of Stephanie Nielson’s blog “The NieNie Diaglogues.”   I love her stories of her marriage, her children, and her observations about ordinary life.  What I love most, however, is her message that she is not her body.  Stephanie was involved in a near-fatal plane crash in 2008 where she was burned on [...]

Seeing with compassion

“The only reason we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into [...]

Feeling safe

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a [...]

Silencing the Inner Critic

Read the latest column from “Today in Dixie” columnist Geoff Steurer

Slow down

Just finished reading this great commentary from Bob Greene on CNN.com on the need to slow down and connect in real-time.  Individuals who struggle with pornography addiction and their partners often feel disconnected from the people who matter most to them.  Their lives feel unorganized and chaotic.  This is in large part to the disconnected [...]

“Fake” is the new “Real”

Men and women are falling prey to the impossible standards of beauty perpetuated by the media.  Magazine editors admit that virtually EVERY photo in today’s magazines has been modified.  Most local family photographers also report that their clients demand photo retouching as part of the portrait package.  It’s not okay to look “real” anymore.  ”Fake” [...]

Shame and Identity

Maurine Proctor, editor-in-chief for Meridian Magazine, an online LDS magazine, recently wrote two fantastic articles on the topics of shame and identity.  Since sexual addiction kills the spirituality of those who struggle with it, it’s critical that spiritual solutions are sought out as the basis treatment.  Understanding personal worth and value, especially how God sees [...]

Isolation and Self-Loathing

I think one of the most dangerous conditions a recovering individual can experience is the combination of feeling self-loathing and isolation.  Self-loathing, or shame, is a common experience for those in recovery.  It is usually something most recovering individuals feel long before their addiction starts (as you know, addiction is actually a cover-up for feelings [...]

Measuring success

I recently read a quote from a leader in the LDS Church, Elder Robert D. Hales, on the subject of addictions.  He said, “Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond”.  What a reassuring thought!  
I have found in my work with men and women who [...]

Coming out of hiding

Most people who look at pornography have a reflex to hide what they’re doing.  That’s because pornography, while highly intoxicating to the brain and body, creates a disconnect from oneself, from God, and from others.  This disconnect produces a conflict of values and a negative view of self, which ultimately produces deep shame and self-loathing. [...]