His recovery begins with personal accountability for his behavior. He needs to accept he has a problem and needs to recognize how it’s affected him and those around him. The most thorough way to accomplish this is with a formal disclosure to his wife. This disclosure isn’t something he hastily shares with her in a casual conversation. Instead, he spends time documenting and reviewing his story with a qualified therapist. Then, he will set up a time to share this with his spouse. It’s important to complete this disclosure with a therapist who specializes in treating pornography and sexual addiction. The LifeStar program has specialized disclosure workbooks to support both the husband and the wife through the disclosure process. A man’s willingness to take responsibility for his behaviors not only opens the door to his own healing, but also creates conditions where his wife and marriage can finally heal.
Even though he has an individual responsibility to work on his own healing, he can’t do this process in isolation. Every man in recovery needs a support system of men who can encourage, empathize, and challenge him in his recovery journey. The LifeStar program is one of the best places to begin forming a support system. Dr. Mark Laaser, an expert on sex addiction, recommends that every man have at least six other men in his life that know his story and can offer ongoing support.This isn’t a time to be a superhero and go solo. Every man has already tried and failed multiple times to recover by himself.
Individual recovery is also more effective when men become educated about their struggles. LifeStar provides clear answers to these important questions. In fact, we believe that behaviors can be understood as men learn more about their emotions, attachment history, relationships, rituals, and other areas that affect their choices. As men work through these areas with the guidance from a qualified therapist and group members, he’ll find answers to help him make long-term changes.
In summary, his recovery begins with:
- Working with a qualified therapist
- Completing a full disclosure to his wife and therapist
- Seeking group support
- Receiving further education
- Learning to control behavior and manage his emotions